Find the Unexpected Angle Plus More

Most family histories are told in bits and pieces—old photos in a shoebox, stories shared over holiday dinners, or names and dates recorded in a family tree. But a truly lasting legacy isn’t just a list of facts; it’s a story—one that captures the personality, choices, and pivotal moments that shaped a life.

A narrative-driven, character-focused approach to preserving family memories goes beyond timelines and turns personal history into something vivid, emotional, and unforgettable. Instead of simply documenting what happened, it brings loved ones to life on the page, ensuring their voices, quirks, and defining moments are remembered for generations.

1. Find the Unexpected Angle

The best stories aren’t always the most obvious ones. Instead of a chronological retelling of someone’s life, look for the defining moments—the pivot points where everything changed. Maybe your grandfather’s career was shaped by a single decision, or your mother’s life took a turn because of one fateful encounter. Dig for the why behind their choices. That’s where the story lives.

Tip: Don’t just ask, “What happened?” Ask, “What were you thinking at that moment?” and “How did you know what to do?” These questions surface the tension and drama that make personal stories gripping.

2. Zero in on the Character, Not Just the Facts

Facts are forgettable, but personalities endure. When preserving family memories, capture the essence of the person, not just their list of life events. What were their quirks? Their contradictions? Their sense of humor? Readers—especially future generations—connect with who someone was, not just what they did.

Tip: Use the “three-word test.” Ask people who knew them well to describe them in three words. Then, ask for a story that paints each word. If someone says, “Grandma was fearless,” get the story of the time she stood up to a boss, started a business, or drove cross-country alone. Stories make traits come alive.

3. Capture the Voice, Not Just the Story

A great life story lets the reader hear them speak. The rhythm, phrasing, and humor in someone’s voice bring them to life on the page. Instead of polishing their words, let their real way of talking shine through.

Tip: Record conversations, even casual ones, and listen for their phrasing. Did they have signature sayings? A certain way of telling jokes? A rhythm to their speech? When writing, keep as much of that intact as possible. It’s those little verbal fingerprints that make a person unforgettable.

Until next time,

Jeremiah Kalb
“Your Family's Personal Biographer”

PLUS: Whenever you’re ready . . . here’s how I can help you:

Thinking about hiring me to write your loved one’s life story? Or yours? Hop on a FREE 15-minute Discovery Call with me to help you decide if we are a good match. No obligation whatsoever. Book your call here or text me at 208-820-2777.